For the past week I’ve been attending the Hillsong Conference in Sydney. It was such an amazing experience. Originally I wanted to write a reflection about my time there, but during that same week, something the opposite of awesome happened too.

I’m not willing to write about it right now, so this post is about the journal I bought during Conference.

I bought this journal as part of the “Emergency Kit” at the resource stall.


{crappy photography, sorry.} The $25 “Emergency Kit” – which is a lot cheaper than what they sell these items for separately! ($30 bible, $20 journal). There’s also supposed to be a free pen included but they ran out by the time I bought these.

There were a few different journals you could choose, but this one appealed to me the most. Maybe subconsciously, I knew that after what had happened I would need to take some time out and just think for a while. And well, I chose this bible because it looked like it was more expensive than the other one, haha.

I actually don’t think anyone even knows what selah means with certainty, but right now it means a lot to me. After such a busy week filled with God given messages and praise, I just need some time for myself to take it all in.

To pause.

To ponder.

To write.

My earlier years of high school were so typically dramatic – boys, emotions, drama. I was (and still am) a very emotional person. There were a lot of times during high school life where I felt completely lost and alone. As a coping mechanism during those times of insecurity, I developed the habit of writing out my feelings when I was in class. I would scribble down lyrics from songs that I could connect with on a personal level and embellish them with colours and swirls. In my school diary. On worksheets. In margins. On my hands.

All I needed was a blank canvas and a pen.

In these last few days, I have returned to this habit, albeit on a larger scale. I’m hoping this journal will become full of quotes and lyrics and bible verses that I can look to when I’m feeling not-so-great. Here are the first ones I’ve done. You’ll notice all the lyrics are from Hillsongs, and that really shouldn’t be surprising considering I spent five consecutive days there last week. My style is still very juvenile in doing this and I’ve never been able to write straight without lines, but I’m hoping I’ll improve over time.

(Sorry for the horrible photography by the way, wanted to do this post while it was still fresh in my mind)

1. Black and white turn to colour all around [This is Living – Hillsong Young & Free]

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I did this one before our fortnightly youth meeting on Saturday. I was in such a good mood right out of Hillsong and I couldn’t wait to keep experiencing Him, and see my friends again for the ninth day in a row.

I chose to make these pages really simple and kept it in the style of my high-school self. Obviously, the pink colour is supposed to contrast the black and white that the song writes about. (It’s really the only colour I had in my pencil case at the time..)

2. Singing, “Holy, heart like heaven” [Heart Like Heaven – Hillsong UNITED]

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Out of their new album, Empires. I did this one on Sunday during the service because I was thinking about how badly we had danced that week and how it was a result of us not seeking His heart, but trying to impress everyone else. Truth be told I’m still a little uncertain what these specific lyrics mean, but the song had been stuck in my head for the past few days so…

I kind of wanted this one to be more feminine and pretty since it had such beautiful words in it. I don’t know why I chose to draw daisies. They’re just my go-to flower when drawing.

3. Faith makes a fool of what makes sense [Here Now (Madness) – Hillsong UNITED]

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Also from the Empires album. I love this line specifically because it’s so true. There are so many things that don’t make any sense to me, but God can see the big picture and He knows what’s up. We just need to have faith.

Freehanded this one, which is why the lines are wonky (grrr). I wanted to make a sort of gradient effect but that did not turn out as well as I had hoped for.

4. Here now [Here Now (Madness) – Hillsong UNITED]

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Yes, this is from the same song as the previous one. This is honestly my favourite song from Empires. I’ve been playing it non-stop on repeat and it’s made me cry so much because it’s a reminder of how God has been with me this whole time and how I’m never alone no matter how lonely I may feel.

I got this idea right out of the lyrics video – I like how simple and small the two words are in contrast to the blank white page. To me it represents God just whispering “I’m here.” out of the silence that we seem to feel sometimes.

Well, there you have it. Hopefully something more joyous will come out of this blog soon but that’s all I have for now. Lately I feel as though my writing hasn’t really been at it’s best but since this is a personal blog it’s not something I’m really worried about.

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